Time Stood Still

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe had just been out in the forest with the kids from the Apollo and Iris cabins working on scouting techniques. It was one of the skills she was fairly good at, so as Cabin Leader for Cabin 11, she taught it to the other campers as part of her duties. She loved teaching the younger kids skills that could help save their lives when they left camp. It was, however, dirty and exhausting work. Lilythe was covered from head to toe with smudges from the dirt and there was a new tear in her jeans. None of that bothered her though as she made her way up to The Big House across the camp grounds. Technically she probably should have been showering at the Hermes Cabin since she wasn't on duty, but the cabin was crowded and as a Cabin Leader she had free access to The Big House whenever she needed. 

She was about halfway across the grounds when she saw the figure of a clear adult heading towards the cabins. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she felt her feet deviate from their original path as she moved to get a better look. The outline looked vaguely familiar, but even though she was getting closer, she couldn't see their face. It wasn't until it became clear which cabin they were going for, Cabin 16, that Lilythe realized she might know them. She stopped in her tracks and gasped. "Azrael?" Her eyes began to tear as she realized that he had finally come home. "Is that really you?"

Her heart began to pound in her chest, but she didn't understand why. He's home. Lilythe hadn't heard from Azrael in several years. They had grown up together at camp. They had been thicker than thieves. But one day Azrael had left for university and she hadn't heard from him since. Occasionally her friend Vienna or James would tell her that he was doing well enough, but he never reached out to her. Lilythe's heart had ached, but she was too afraid that she would bother him if she reached out. They hadn't parted on bad terms, but Azrael had been pulling away even before he left. Lilythe never did get a clear explanation for why, and had resigned herself to the fact that she probably never would. Now, however, he was here before her, and her heart wouldn't stop racing.

 

@ Azrael Blackburn

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael had spent more than a few hours catching up with James and was slowly retracing old paths lost as much in exhustion as the old memories of a camp and childhood he thought he had left behind him. The early evening glow from the lanterns that lined cabin 16 brought back so many memories, some tinged with lost friends and kids that would never grow into adulthood in the way that he and James and Lilythe had gotten the chance. His speed slowed a pace further realizing the time that had passed, those that dwelt in the cabin, in the camp in general would be completely changed form when he had last left, was the camp even a place he should be back in.. this place was to prepare and protect the kids - not for those looking to retread their youthful paths.

He turned at the unexpected shout of his name, he went to pull down the hood to speak to whoever it was, realized his hood was already down and the high levels of fatigue had been building in him he turned to the figure as his mind slowly process the familiar voice he hadn't heard in years.... Lilythe.

"Lithe" the words were left to hang in the silence just a little too long, the still of the evening and the background nature of the camp doing little to break the awkward silence. The years barely looked like they had touched her since he had left, it was as if it were still the same day he had struggled up the courage to tell James and Lilythe of the opportunity that Chiron had helped organize for him, a chance to study demigod senate politics in New Rome. but it had also been a way to run, avoid seeing one of his best friends in a toxic relationship, or at least the jealousy that he had felt that tinged his senses of the pairing.

But looking over at her he could see that she still had the weight of the world in her eyes. He tried to find a topic of conversation though slightly stilted "I hear you made Acting Camp Director. Congratulation are in order." he thought to himself in for an obul, in for a drachma and stumbled onwards to try to diffuse the tension..  "I would offer to sneak into the big house to find a drink but James kept me talking for more hours that I would like to admit."

Edited August 6, 2022 by Azrael Blackburn

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

As Azrael spoke, the familiar sound of his voice washed over Lilythe like a comforting blanket. She could feel tears welling in her eyes, and it seemed for a moment as if the whole world had frozen in place. He's really here. Lilythe barely processed the words he was saying, such was her state of shock to see him there before her. As he stepped closer to her, Lilythe snapped from her trance and she ran towards him. 

Lilythe flung her arms around Azrael and wrapped him in the biggest hug she could manage. Her eyes were wet with tears, but she smiled so brightly. "I can't believe you're really here. I've missed you so much!" He had been one of her closest friends before he had left. Lilythe's heart felt like it had been missing a piece when he left. Now, for the first time in a long while, she felt whole. Even if only for a moment, she was going to enjoy this feeling. She stood there and hugged him long after what would have been considered typical, before finally releasing him and drying her eyes.

"Sorry... I just. I'm so happy to see you." Lilythe blushed with embarrassment as she realized that she didn't even know if Azrael intended to stay, if they would still be friends. In reality, Lilythe no longer really knew where she stood with him. She tried to regain her composure and act as she would for any other returning camper. "But... yeah I guess I am Activities Director for the moment. Chiron's away with the Party Ponies for a bit, so I'm just filling in." She blushed slightly as she realized that she had just brushed past everything he'd said and made a grand display of affection. 

She realized that him talking about James keeping him a while might have been his way of trying to push away again. Maybe he wasn't as excited to see her as she was to see him. Her heart sank at that thought. "I... I don't want to keep you if you're tired." Lilythe said with an apologetic look. "Sorry, I... it's lovely to see you Azrael." She was being sincere, it truly was wonderful to see him. However, she wasn't sure that he was as excited to see her. 

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael returned the hug, a gesture of meeting of friendship and of the many battles faught, and mostly to keep him standing from the long travel to the camp. Even another familiar face and the flood of emotions this brought him could keep standing for much longer. He worried about someone seeing the two of them, shadow causing problems with something innicent that could be twisted, a flood of mixed emotions threatened to break through the weariness: old emotions of affection for her, jealousy of her relationship with another, joy of a possible rekindling of their friendship, while still dulled and slowed by the bone deep exhustion.

He took the time to listen through as Lilythe talked, seeing the dirt marks of a hard days toil, the sheer enthusiasm and friendliness she would give to a friend she hadnt seen for years.. "I have missed you and James and the camp so much - New Rome and the senate are just different worlds to here." A yawn escaped his lips "I am dead on my feet though, California to here by ground takes it out of you... but I have a bunk for at least tonight" he said apologetically "want to catch up tomorrow if your camp duties are not taking up all of your time? I am sure there is so much to catch up on.." He internally added.. and see if i need to watch out for shadow around camp...

He couldn't just ask.. it had been too long.. too many unsent letters.. too much everything.. but that could be a task for tomorrows Azrael... maybe.

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

He had hugged her back. Lilythe was content with that. It meant he wasn't completely opposed to her presence. I can work with that. She thought to herself. Azrael had been so very important to her before he left. When he left and she didn't hear from him, it hurt, but she had eventually learned how to bear that pain. The idea of him being at camp and completely ignoring her, that was something she wasn't sure that she could handle.

As Azrael said he had missed her, Lilythe felt her heart leap. It had gone from the lowest of lows, to a high in one fell swoop. She still couldn't quite understand everything she was feeling, but she knew one thing for certain; she would never let things go back to how they had been the last few years. "I wouldn't have ever let anyone take your bunk Azrael." Lilythe chuckled. The cabins were plenty large enough for all the campers without giving away beds that were already claimed by campers. "How long are you back for?"

Lilythe felt bad for wanting his attention now, she could tell he was exhausted, and he had plainly stated as much. So when he offered to catch up the next day, Lilythe beamed. "Absolutely! I have time tomorrow." She didn't, not really, but she would make time. She would cancel some scouting classes, swap James times in the Big House, whatever needed to be done. Azrael didn't need to know that though. "Yeah, a lot has changed since you left. Vienna's off in New Rome, I'm sure you probably ran into her. Larissa's back from New Rome, she arrived just a little before you did. Shadow's gone to Hades knows where. The break-up was pretty rough on him I guess." Lilythe had assumed that James had told Azrael everything. She wasn't aware that her being single was going to be a newsflash for Azrael. Even more, she didn't know how he felt about her to know what it would mean to him. So she carried on speaking, without a pause, unaware that it might affect him. "But yeah, I can tell you everything tomorrow. Want to meet on the beach on the other side of the woods? You know where Zephyros Creek meets the Sound?" She suggested.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

"I haven't made my full strategy yet.. I had hoped to speak to Chiron about a plan now I made it through university, but i can fill you in on those once I get a few hours downtime." He was dead on his feet but greatful to hear how those he had left years ago had kept going and moved on, recalling bits about his time at New Rome and those he had seen at least in passing.

Realizing the old creek was as much a landmark of their past as kids as a meeting spot, the many times over the years the kids of camp had played, been taught wilderness skills and generally cooled down in the hot summers of camp. They had been easier years, before the wars, before he had left for New Rome. he realized he had zoned out and quickly blurted out "Of course, the old creek. Let me know when you have the time. I will be here, at least until Chiron gets back. This camp has alot less need for legal aid though.." he said with a tired grin. "I can't wait to hear of all you have managed in the last few years. But for now Sleep is definately calling" 

He then quickly bowed his head to dodge inside, still not sure what he should have expected on a return having focused so much on discussing future plans with Chiron and forgettignthe rest of what a return to camp would entail.. Something was on the back of his mind from the conversation as he leant against the now closed cabin door. 

Wait.. shadow... break up..  

A mix of emotions - those he had been keeping at bay - flooded over him, hopes that he had locked away years ago.. she had chosen Shadow last time around though, only so much to hope for but at least he wouldn't need to go through the pain of seeing them together and maybe she was in a better place depending when they broke up. But for then the bliss beyond ambrosia of well needed sleep pulled him into his old bunk and new hopes for the next day...

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe waved as Azrael as he turned to go to his cabin. "Meet me there first thing in the morning?" She called after him. "Just like we used to?" Not waiting for a response, Lilythe turned and began to head up to The Big House to shower. A smile, bigger than she had worn in years, was plastered to her face as she did so. He's home.

 

 

She could hardly sleep that night. Lilythe wasn't completely certain why she was so nervous, but she suspected that it was mostly that she still didn't understand where she stood with Azrael. Before the sun had risen, Lilythe was already out of bed and getting dressed. She sat at her mirror, trying to decide whether or not she was going to dress herself up, or just be casual. She played with her hair a bit, putting it up and pulling it back down; applied make-up and removed it. This continued for an hour before she finally settled on putting her hair in a messy ponytail and doing a casual make-up look. 

As the sun began to rise, Lilythe hiked across the campgrounds, through the forest, to the very spot they used to sit and talk for hours. She brought with her some muffins and sausages that she had managed to sneak out of the mess hall as they were being prepared that morning. As she arrived at the spot, she laid out a picnic blanket and started a small campfire a few feet away. Lilythe had planned it so that they could be there for hours if he wanted to, but it was easy enough to pack up if he didn't want to stay too long. She didn't want to seem over eager. The last thing I want is for him to run away again...

Finished with setting up, Lilythe sat on the blanket and looked at the waves as they lapped the shore. The sound was mesmerizing, and she let it occupy her mind as she waited to relieve some of her anxiety.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael had awoke after a longer sleep than he had expected, the first rays of the rising sun streaming into the cabin shaking him from Hypnos' grasp. He quietly recalled the pain from some of the troubles he had encountered on the way to the camp, feeling fresh bruises as he pulled off the previous days clothes and pulling on some more casual clothes for around camp.

He made his way out the back of the Nemesis Cabin, pulling his blades from the sheathes he kept them in to run through some early morning excercises in the early mornig light. simple martial kata, assuming stances, blade thrusts and stretches. With each fluid motion his body carried out by rote, his mind dwelt on the past day. None of the old directors were around to talk with but his old friends had taken up the mantle of organizing the camp.. and she had broken up with shadow... but she had picked him back in the day.. and they were friends.. just go talk like the old days..

He quickly gathered up his sheathes, strapped them to his side and put his daggers away, camp was pretty safe but you never knew when trouble could strike outside the grounds. He walked quickly on the paths away from the main camp space, aiming not to delay his travels out to the creek with bumping into any other faces, new or otherwise. As he strode he tried to shake the nerves he had hoped exercise could vanquish, this was no battle or speech to the forum, just friends meeting to catch up...

His shape could be seen in the treeline, quiet for a moment before starting out to the shore, he had pulled together an odd mix of casual and battle ready that only just about fitted in for camp. A tight shirt held in with a cross strapped twin blade sheath and tight fitting sturdy pants with a knapsack held singe strap over a shoulder. He stood there for a moment taking in the breeze, the beach, the ocean, Lilythe quietly distracted by calm waves lapping against the shore and him definately not stalling for how best to start.. just friends catching up on the past..  "I know you still have the record for skimming stones out there but I am still sure all those Hermes Travel skills give you an edge..." he pointed out with a smile.

 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe had lost herself in the rhythm of the waves. She hadn't heard him sneak up--which wasn't surprising, given that he always had been fairly great with stealth--and so she jumped as he spoke. "Gods you startled me." Lilythe proclaimed as she leaped up from her seat, into a stand. She chuckled at herself, "I see you haven't lost your touch." Offering him a smile, Lilythe motioned for Azrael to join her on the blanket as she sat back down. "I don't know if Hermes is as fond of skipping stones as you think he is." She laughed a bit. Her record was going to be hard to beat. Though if you asked her, she'd be willing to place some heavy money that Percy Jackson, as a child of Poseidon, could beat her if he really wanted to.

She curled her legs in and held her knees as she sat. It was clear that she felt anxious from her posture, and she knew that. Lilythe wasn't sure what to do though. It had been so long. She had so many questions she wanted to ask him. Why didn't you say goodbye? Why didn't you write me? Aren't we friends? After everyone she had lost during the back to back traumas that they had all underwent together, Lilythe really thought that Azrael, of all people, would understand why that had hurt her so much. But she was also afraid of the answer. What if you didn't mean as much to him as he meant to you? Lilythe wasn't sure she could handle it. 

"Feeling better after some sleep?" She decided to stick to the safe topics for the moment. There would be plenty of time for answers later. She hoped, anyway. He hadn't really given her an answer for how long he was staying yesterday. Maybe she would work up the courage before the end of their time together today, but right now she just wanted to enjoy having him back for a moment. "It's good to see you home."

Lilythe's gaze drifted across his body for the first time, and she realized that his shirt clung to him. She could see every muscle in his chest. Was he always that... toned? She had never really paid attention to his body before. Her heart began to race once more, and she let her eyes meet his once more, trying not to overthink what she was experiencing in that moment. She wasn't quite ready to admit to herself that, perhaps, the reason things didn't work out with Shadow was largely because, deep down she had always had feelings for someone else.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael looked on at the lithe motion Lilythe made in getitng to her feet, he hadn't meant to startle her but the quick motion as she stood distracted him. How often in the wars had they been back to back, relying on her to watch his back and vice versa... but here, without the blur of warfare he could appreciate the woman she had been and that she had grown into across the years since he had.. ran away.. There were so many memories of this place, the calm, the waves, the swims out in the ocean, but they were all from a time before, an easier time..

Azrael took a seat on the blanket, taking the time to hear her voice, he was surprised how much it brought back, more than just memories but how much he had relied on her for friendship, how his feelings had grown unbidden to the point where he couldn't stand to watch her with the wrong person. "Sleep.. yeah, the travelling camp to camp never gets easier. And to find my old bunk still waitng on me."

He took the knapsack and pulled back the covering to reveal a sealed clay pot , pulling the wax seal open was the aroma of fresh baked goods and he pulled a few to add to the blanket's trove. "Same idea" he said with a grin seeing the selection already laid out "I had to bring some of New Rome's pastries back.. the coffee and cherry muffins are the best but I never thought i would miss the strawberry muffins of camp."

As he kept talking his eyes slowly found hers... there was a rush of feeling as his gaze fell into those deep eyes.. he tried to pull himself back, tried to find something to say..  "I should be here for a few days at least, until I can speak to Chiron and talk some plans through with him. I know this side of the states doesn't need a lawyer but I hope i can make myself useful somehow in the mean time. If thats okay with you..?" he let the last of his question trail on a little too much, realizing that he had left her and the relationship they had had behind.. when he had fled: fled seeing her with the wrong person, fled seeing her with any other person, fled the anger that had been within him for the person she had chose, fled his friends, fled his life here.. fled the feelings he had bottled up for the past fours years of self exile...

Edited August 9, 2022 by Azrael Blackburn

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe smiled softly. "I told you Az, I'd never let anyone take your bunk." She had meant it when she said it the night before. There weren't a ton of children of Nemesis to begin with, so it hadn't exactly been a hard fight to keep his bed ready for him if he returned, but she still would have. Lilythe wanted her family back home more than anything in this world. Since she was a little girl, orphaned by a fire, Lilythe had considered the campers her family. The trauma that she had gone through with the older campers had solidified that even further. So when they left she always made sure that their beds were kept ready for them whenever they returned. It was extra true for Azrael and Vienna, her best friends. "You and Vienna will always have a home to come back to for as long as I'm here. And this is my home, where else would I go?"

She chuckled a bit at the last line. After her break-up with Shadow, Lilythe had tried to travel the world. She had even managed to see a good chunk of it. However, she could never really feel content. Camp Half-Blood was, and always would be, her home.

Another chuckle escaped her as Azrael opened the clay pot with muffins. "Great minds think alike." He brought food. He wasn't planning on running away quickly.That, at least, seemed to comfort Lilythe and she seemed to relax. The questions still burned in her mind. Why had he locked her out of his life for the last few years? But it seemed that he, at least for now, wanted her company once more. Lilythe would take what she could. "We can mix and match. I don't think I've ever had their cherry muffins." Lilythe had purposefully avoided Camp Jupiter and New Rome in her travels. Partially because she still had some bitterness after the Second Demigod Civil War to work through, and partially because she was afraid that if she had run into Azrael he wouldn't have been so welcoming. Now she felt a little foolish, because she didn't appear to have need to fear.

As his eyes met hers, Lilythe blushed slightly and turned her gaze to the muffins. She moved to grab one to cover for herself. What's wrong with me? She listened as he spoke, pulling small parts of the muffin to place into her mouth. As he finished, she couldn't help but look back up at him with a look of utter disbelief. Okay with me?  "Azrael, there is nobody at camp that is more happy to have you home than me. Was that even a question?" She felt hurt that he could even entertain the idea that she didn't want him here. All she had wanted for the last few years was for him to come back home. She had missed him daily. The question had shaken her to her core and all of a sudden everything she had kept inside came spilling out. "I have missed you every single day since you left. You were one of my best friends in the whole world, and you just left one day. I mean I know you were studying, and I'm so incredibly proud of you... but you couldn't even write me? Not once?" 

She bit her lip softly as she realized what she had done. "I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... It's your life. You can do what you want. I just... Of course you can come home Azrael. We're happy to have you back." Lilythe's gaze fell back on the blanket and she picked at her muffin again. Once more pushing small bits into her mouth to prevent herself from talking more and further embarrassing herself. Why am I like this?

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael followed along with her discussion, dwelling on the idea of home, talking with the old man between big cases - but just being there had put him at risk; the times at camp where this place had become a warzone and he had slain his fellow camper; new rome where he studied but never quite felt at home.

"I... you.. I'm glad you made this place your home. For me the wars and the fighting were all so soon that this camp will still have blood in my memories. Cabin eleven was as much my place as sixteen ever will be, heck even putting that building felt more of a monument than anything real." he thought back to those early years, sure he had been unclaimed and an outsider but those who had been his cabinmates hermes or not had been his disfunctional family through wars and all. Being claimed by Nemesis, cabin and all, had always felt more of an after thought when it came to camp. 

You can just tell her, confess your feelings, the years of bottling them up.. tell her you had to leave before you took your emotions took the better of you, before the thirst for some unfair retribution and vengance combined with teen frustrations rose up in some camp capture the flag or whenever it raised its head.

He took a deep breath as she finished, seeing her hugging her legs in close, moving into a defensive posture..  "Okay, that one is more than fair - I should have written. I needed time away from this place, I wasn't in a great headspace and I.. I couldn't stand seeing you with him. He was wrong for you Lil, full of vengance and trouble, but it wasn't my place to question it.. and the more time away that passed the harder it got."

He knew it was more than that, his own feelings, but even admiting it to himself took some deep retrospectives and coming to terms with the teen that left the camp grounds.... but managing to say all that was harder than any pen he had attmepted to lift over the years.

"This place prepared us for combat, violence and loss, for puzzles and quests, but there is alot that I just wasn't ready for back then" he fell quiet, grabbing at a camp half blood pastry to occupy his hands but not moving to take a bite...

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe sighed softly. She completely related to what Azrael was saying. Camp Half-Blood definitely had lots of blood in its history for them. It also had a lot of good too though. "Az, it's like that for all of us. But you have to remember the good parts too." Lilythe gestured over at the edge of the forest. "That's where we met our first dryad. Vee was so nervous she spoke in high squeaks because she had been messing with the dryad's apple tree trying to work on her chlorokinesis." Her hand moved to point at the dead log about 30 paces from them. "That is where we first met because you stopped one of the Apollo kids from teasing me about my dad being the god of thieves." She looked back at him with a half-smile. "It took a lot of retraining myself to try to remember the good everywhere I looked instead of the bad... but it is possible."

Lilythe was surprised to hear Azrael admit that he should have written to her. It felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders when she realized it wasn't her. Not really. He brought up her being with Shadow and her brow raised. "Why did you care who I dated? I mean I know you didn't like Shadow... and he was definitely possessive and unhealthy for me... but I didn't think your dislike for him was enough to push you away." She felt a little angry that Azrael had let that happen. That Azrael had allowed Shadow to come between their friendship. "I spent years thinking it was my fault..." Lilythe confessed. She finished her muffin and looked over at him laying her head on her knees.

"What aren't you telling me Azzy? We never used to have secrets..." Her eyes looked over him. She could tell from his body language that he felt guilt and remorse. She wanted to understand what could have possibly kept him from contacting her for several years. "What weren't you ready for?" She lifted her head off her knees and turned them so they angled down as she faced her body towards him, sitting on her side. Reaching out her hand, Lilythe moved to touch his shoulder in a gesture of comfort. "You can tell me anything."

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael sighed with wearyness that a night at camp, in his own bunk, couldn't clear. "You grew up here, I just moved around like I always did. I told you about Dad and his cases, it would be travel for cases or the next boarding school. Home for me has always been the people not the places. There are good memories but they are all around who rather than where..."    

"I mean, by Hades, if it hadn't been for you and Vee I could have been on the other side of that first war, you guys meant more to me than I ever realized.." but even as he said these words he trailed off into a pained expression, memories of the past that were difficult to hide.

Matty.. he had tried to block him out of his memory.. he had been as much a but now they were all overshadowed by his actions. Azrael knew they both had too much guilt and baggage from that friendship to bring him up.

"Remember all those times you told me about how pretty much all of the hermes cabin were always full of energy, always moving, always analyzing. Well, I think I worked out what being a child of Nemesis brings to the party. I probubly still have a feud with some of the Apollo campers after the" he made bunny ear swith his hands "..debate.. we had on parentage that day. But it had never been more than a minor annoyance when they hounded me as an unclaimed..." Azrael had fallen back into a serious expression, realizing he had been close to launching himself into the Apolo campers that day to stand up for someone being picked on, in need of retribution, but needing to control that side of him.

"Nemesis gave me a little bit of insight and a lot of emotions." he looked up at the clear sky over the ocean "After all the fighting and the losses I admit i was overprotective of the family I still had here.. and I could tell how he wasn't right for you and it was going to go wrong and I.. couldn't stand on the sidelines watching that happen." Azrael took a deep breath and mananged to make himself continue "You mean't too much to me to be able not to step in but he hadn't done anything wrong.. but he was wrong for you..."

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe had expected him to tell her some big secret. She had expected to need to console him about something in the past, or something weighing on him now. But she wasn't prepared for him to double-down on his condemnation of her dating life. Lilythe looked at him with a look of righteous indignation as he sat there and talked about what was right for her. Where did he get off deciding that he had any say in who she should be romantically involved with? "I get being protective of your friends, Az. But... I get to decide who is right for me. Not you." She said calmly, looking him square in the eyes. She should have stopped the conversation there. If she had been more in control of her emotions, she might have. But she was feeling a little vulnerable at the moment, and had a mix of all sorts of feelings that were pent up that she wanted to get out. "Azrael, if I meant so much to you... why did you disappear? Hmmm? You managed to write James from time to time. You managed to stay friendly with Vee while she was in New Rome. It was just me you cut out. And now you're here, telling me that this was the reason? My choice in boyfriends?" She had been prepared for a lot of things, but this wasn't one of them. "Think about all the questionable guys that Vee has dated. You're  still friends with her!"

Standing up, Lilythe crossed her arms. "I don't understand how I could have been 'so important', but you would stop talking to me over something stupid like who I chose to date. Make it make sense Azrael." Lilythe glared down at him. "I missed you the entire time you were gone. I heard nothing. I cried several times--ask James if you need to--because I thought I had lost one of my best friends in the whole world. I could have accepted a lot of things... but this doesn't make sense. Make it make sense Azrael, or I'm walking out of here..."

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

He listened to ever word she said and the truths struck him, four years he had ran, hidden, burried himself in as many activites to make excuses not to. He could think back to the times they had both helped pull Vee out at the end of another terrible dating mishap and the consoling needed for so many nights. He realized he needed to say something or else any hope of friendship let alone anything else would be ended.

Azrael stood and faced her, "Fine." he took a moment to collect his thoughts. "I realized I didnt want to see you with anyone else. Period. I wanted to be the one." He stood his ground.

"And back then i was dumb kid who couldn't express that." he keep going, words after words.. "and now there is a chance to actually not lose one of the most important friendships I have made over all my years and I didn't want to dredge up what i had run away from." his eyes damp from emotion.

"I can't make it make sense only how it was but I should have reached out. I should have pushed through it and written or visited or put my crushing aside and actually been a friend when you needed one." 

And if you need to walk I will understand - but i got to say it - in the end.   

"We pulled Vee out of so many relationship spirals over the years but I never fell for her, It wasn't selfish to try to help her out of the latest hole she had fallen in..." he realized this made no sense but it was true to him.. some levels of personal wants in one but not the other.. 

Azrael stood still, he had ran out of words, and knew his words had only just scratched the surface, but he waited..

 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe stood her ground as he stood in front of her. She wasn't intimidated by him as he loomed over her. The anger that seethed in her fueled her bravery, as well as the trust that he would never hurt her out of anger. He was capable of a great many things, but purposefully hurting her when he was in the wrong wasn't it. She was prepared for him to be defensive, or even angry. She had not, however, been prepared for the confession he gave instead.

He...what? The anger didn't quite vacate her completely, however it was no longer the predominant emotion she was feeling. Confusion had now taken that primary residence in her. "You... wanted to be with me?" She gave him a look akin to a deer in the headlights as she tried to process the confession she was hearing right now. It had never even crossed her mind that Azrael might want to be with her in a romantic way. She had never even imagined that her best friend might have feelings for her that were more than platonic. That wasn't the confusing part though. What confused her, was that she didn't know how she felt about that. 

Her gaze moved off his face down to the blanket beneath her, and then over his shoulder at the sound behind him. "No. I... I would have known, right?" The thought left her mouth without her realizing it as her shocked face turned into a look of pure confusion. She wasn't even processing that she was speaking aloud as she continued. "This is a dream, right?"

Lilythe finally settled her gaze back on him as she intentionally spoke to him again. "Since when?" Her eyes searched his, trying to understand how her entire world had changed in a matter of seconds.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

"It shouldn't matter. I was an idiot to walk away from my oldest and truest friend and I have no excuses for that and they are my feelings to deal with." he had confessed but now realized how much of a burden he had pushed her way - not that he had much of a choice, she could take down a titan with that gaze.. 

He knew that this would change things one way or another, but he had to try to keep her friendship at least. He had been able to keep busy while in New Rome but now he stood at the oceanside he could think of nothing else. When had it happened.. how do feelings start, you just notice them one day when they become a part of you.

He tried to find words to let her know how long, how much, how it had effected him over the years but he could not come up with them, he had already dropped enough of a bombshell on her. 

"You had my back over all the years but I let my feelings get in the way and ran and hid New Rome. Take some time and I'll be here if you still want to speak" he looked over towards the path back to camp and started to walk.

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

She just continued to stare at him, dumbfounded, as he accepted full blame for his behavior over the last few years. Repeating himself, that it had been his feelings that got in the way. Lilythe was still having trouble processing that Azrael had harbored romantic feelings for her, apparently for at least the last few years, and she had never realized it. She hadn't had even the faintest clue. Lilythe had, genuinely, believed that he had been angry with her for something over the last few years and that was why he had never written. She had been unprepared for what was now the reality she found herself in.

Her mind raced through every memory they had together. Searching for any signs that she might have missed. And the more she looked, the more oblivious she realized she had been. She had always written off his actions as nothing but being a good friend. If she had stopped and thought about how he had treated her compared to Vienna she might have realized a bit sooner. 

But when he turned to walk away Lilythe barely let him walk 2 steps before running in front of him. Hermes children were the fastest out of anyone at camp, hands down. He couldn't outrun her if she didn't let him. "Don't walk away again... we're talking about this Azrael Blackburn." Lilythe placed a hand out to stop him. "I have questions, and I think I more than deserve answers, seeing as how you let me think it was my fault for all these years while you were gone." The tone in her voice indicated that this was not going to be optional. He was going to have this talk with her one way or another. 

Once she was sure he wasn't going to keep trying to leave, her look softened. There were a million questions racing in her mind. But she wanted to know exactly what she was dealing with, so she needed to clarify things. "I need to know the answers Azrael, you owe me that. Okay? And after I have my answers I'll take my space to think..." She promised him. It was the best he was going to get from her, that she wasn't going to impulsively react on the spot. "I'll consider your responses carefully, and I'll figure out what it means for me. But I need honesty." She met his eyes, and started her interrogation. "What do you feel? Is it just a crush or do you love me? Did you really come back to check in with Chiron? Or did you come back because you found out I was single? What do you want from me? What makes it different this time? Lilythe needed things to be different this time. She needed to know that she would be free to make whatever choice she made and be able to keep his friendship. Because otherwise, she didn't want to let him back in. Not like that. "Okay... I think that's all... you can answer..." She bit her lip nervously.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael had tried to walk to give space and give Lilythe some time to run through it but if she was willing to talk he would do his best to answer.

"Answers." he dwelled on every question she had launched at him. He pushed back a smile. It was so very like Lilythe, straight, honest and forthright. 

He took the easy answers first, the ones that were just the facts, not trying to explain the feelings he had held back for years. "No, I didn't know you were single. I did want to speak to Chiron. I am still trying to find a place in the world, a piece of paper from New Rome doesn't change that as much." He kept his want to find a place in the world where he could do some good to himself for now, assume she still spoke to him there would be time to tell her later.

If I had known then maybe my head would have been a bit more organized...

"I have felt a burning desire for you since before I left, I had been falling for you over the last few years at camp and trying to stay away has done little to quench the flames. But I don't want to see it burn up our friendship, I have missed you so much Lil..." he took the time to dwell on the memories of this place, helping campers, exploring the camp, cabin 11, they had all been times to him that he had missed deeply over his years in New Rome.

"All i can ask of you is what you are doing already, listen to me and let me know how you feel. I was wrong, young and hurting in the past. I want you in my life again, whether that is as a friend.. or anything more" He didnt want to push, but he had to know how she felt. seeing her look of confusion, of surprise, seemed to have told him she didn't seen him in those ways, if she was willing to listen to his whys maybe there was a chance there. If not then he would do his damnedest to find what was left of thier friendship.

He tried to work out what else he could say now that he had hopefully answered the questions she had put his way. "For years, this place was not my home. Moving cabins, being claimed, didn't change that. You did. I have put my life in your hands so many times over the years and I always knew you would be there, I wish i could go back to change how I left... that I left... This time I will not hide any feelings, I will respect whatever you figure out and I will be here until we work it out." He tentatively opened his arms inviting a hug.. as much a gesture of friendship as a confirmation he would not try to walk away this time.

He knew what he had done, through one short conversation realized exactly the damage he had caused by walking away from the camp years ago. Now was his time to see what he could do to make amends. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe wasn't entirely certain that she wanted to know all the answers she had asked for, but she knew that she needed them. She needed all of the information to come to her own decisions after she calmed down. And if she didn't ask now, while she had the impulsivity to seek it out, she would never ask. Still, his responses continued to surprise her.

He didn't know... Lilythe felt a mixture of relief and a twinge of something akin to disappointment. Had she wanted him to come back for her? Lilythe couldn't identify exactly what she was feeling about anything he was saying. Her mind continued to race as she thought about their history together.

"Burning desire?" Lilythe blushed at this point. This was not something she had anticipated. It wasn't something as simple as a crush then. But he didn't say love either... Again, her feelings were muddled as she couldn't identify how she felt about that.

She was grateful, however, for at least one of the answers. He didn't care if she felt the same, he just wanted back into her life. Lilythe could live with that. She needed time to sort out her own feelings on things, and it sounded like he was going to give her all the time and space she needed. Thank the gods for small miracles. Her heart was pounding in her chest. And her mind raced with so many thoughts and emotions she couldn't keep herself straight.

His arms opened and, reflexively Lilythe moved into them and melted against his chest. She could heart his heartbeat and feel his breathing. Her eyes were wet with tears as she felt overwhelmed. "I'm sorry I don't know what... how... I just..." Lilythe tried to explain that she wanted to have answers for him, too. She wanted to be able to tell him how she felt and what she wanted from him. She was surprised that it wasn't as simple as she had expected it to be. Before today, Lilythe hadn't really had the opportunity to look at Azrael as a potential romantic partner. Her and Shadow had began to date pretty much as soon as they were old enough to really start understanding what that meant. So, Lilythe had never looked at anyone else in that way. But now that she was given the opportunity to, and confronted with the idea that someone else might want her, she was truly at a loss to define how she felt about it. Is that why I've been thinking about him more lately?

"I don't know how I feel. It was a lot to take in. It changes the way I look at a lot of things in the past. I need to sort through that." Lilythe began, never letting herself leave the embrace they held. She didn't want to look at him, because she wasn't sure what she would do if she did. She was afraid she would cry or ruin things. "Shadow and I only split a few months ago. I've never really had a chance to think about anyone else that way, and I'm still healing from the wounds he left." Lilythe finally broke the embrace, and grabbed one of his hands with both of hers. "But I do know that you are one of the most important people in the world to me. So I won't leave you in limbo forever. I just need time to think." She bit her lip nervously as she looked at him. Her eyes once more looked over him as if seeing him, for the first time, not as her old friend, but as the man he truly was.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael took the moment to hold her, they had hugged in the past but this was more than just friends or was that just a hope, or was it just him that felt it. He felt her warmth as her head pressed to his chest and wished that the moment could go on forever. He tried to work out if he had said too much, too little.. he took the time to hold her, listen to her "I.. I didn't want to push you into anything.. take all the time you need" Though if this was dream for him he wished to never awaken from it.

He pushed down hard on his want to hold her close to him forever and gently loosened his hold as she pulled back. He felt a warmth in his chest as she called him one of the most important people, it held the chance of repairing his foolishness of the last few years. "I will be here when you work things through, however that turns out. I can see what I can do to help out if there is anything, this camp is not the same one I grew up in or even left, maybe I can re-train some of those happier memories." Even if she never felt the same way about him he could make peace with that. He could find a way to make it less awkward, maybe hang out with James or convince Vee to road trip back.. just find a way to.. be friends.. the thought hurt him but he swore to himself that he just wouldn't lose her from his life again and he was lucky to have the chance to mend the bridges he had burnt.

Their eyes catching it sent a tingle up his spine and it took all his will to not lean into her, she was within arms reach and he could see forever in those eyes. He could barely tell if it was his eyes threatening to tear up or hers. He didn't want to be the one to walk away, it had been hard enough to try to take those steps before, now his feet felt weighted to the spot. He said quietly between them "Whatever else you need, time, answers, anything.."

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

"I promise not to take too long." Lilythe said with a soft smile. She could already feel her nervous energy building. She was going to need to find something to purge this energy. Probably cleaning the Hermes cabin, if she was being honest with herself. That was what she always did.

Letting go of his hand, she turned to walk away. Completely forgetting the blanket and muffins she had brought with her. She made it almost to the forest edge before she stopped and turned back to face him. "Azrael? I may not be sure about anything else right now... But I am glad you're home." She smiled and turned back toward the forest, matching her way back to the Hermes cabin.

She had a lot to think about now.

[Azrael Blackburn Rare Rare]

Azrael took the time to watch as she walked back towards camp, he didn't know if it was wrong but he couldn't help watching her figure as she walked back towards the camp. He felt the pang of guilt just thinking about her that way when he had just made so many promises of space and time but her silhouette against the shaded forest was captivating.

He was lost in his thoughts as she turned and looked back, fortunately she was likely to be too far away to see his reaction to being caught staring.. he hoped..

"I will be here" it was simple enough statement but to him it was a promise.