Personal Plot Related Everyone Knew But You

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

It had been a couple days since Azrael had confessed his feelings to Lilythe. She had calmed down and no longer had the excess of nervous energy that he had the day of. Her talk with Joaquin had also helped her begin to sort her thoughts, though she wasn't certain she had truly come to a final conclusion of what she was going to do moving forward. And since that day she had managed to keep herself busy in an effort to help reduce that feeling of overwhelming confusion she had. However, her shift that day at The Big House was quiet and that left her with a lot of free time for her mind to wander.

Lilythe was lounging in a chair in the living room, raking her fingers through her hair as she thought about things. Azrael... and me. Lovers? That was the million dollar question right now. Am I even ready for another relationship? Her mind continued to race with similar thoughts as the minutes passed by slowly. Do I even feel that way about him?

She was so deep in thought, she never heard the door as it opened and another camper came in.

@ Larissa Souza

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa was pretty much breathing hard when she got to the big house. It wasn't that she was out of shape per say, it was more that she had been working out all morning and it was now mid way through the afternoon. She had to stop and heal some campers as well. Which wasn't the best feeling as it drained her a little more. So she thought the big house would be the best place for her to get away. She wouldn't be able to get rest in her own cabin, that much she knew. There were already some people looking for her so they could play some music. 

She got to the door, opened it, walked in and closed it behind her as she lend against it. "Shew." She said to no one really but her head turned to see Lilythe there but she seemed to be in a different world at the moment. "Uh. Lilythe?" She questioned as she walked over to her and sat on the couch next to her chair. She curled her feet under herself and placed her chin in her hand. "So?" she questioned as she looked at the woman next to her. "What dream are we having?" She knew that something was up for the woman, she didn't know what yet but it had to be some kind of juicy detail just by the way she was acting. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Hearing her name, Lilythe snapped out of her stupor. "Sorry, Riss... how long have you been there?" It wouldn't have been unheard of for Lilythe to be completely oblivious to her surroundings for hours. She had been a daydreamer her whole life, and it had been part of what had earned her the nickname of Lithe, a play on the greek Lethe, because of her obliviousness and forgetfulness. 

Blushing as Larissa asked her about her dream, Lilythe sat up. "Not a dream. Lost in thought." Elbows on her knees, Lilythe sunk her head into her hands and continued. "I assume you know by now that Azrael's back. Which is great. I think." She knew that the 'I think' was going to be a big enough tip that something was off. There had been nothing she had wanted more for the last several years than to have him and Vienna back home. "We went to the beach the morning after he came back and talked. Or, rather, I got upset with him for abandoning me and he confessed that it was because he loved me." Lilythe paused here, because she was sure that this was going to be a big piece of news that Larissa was going to have to process. It never even occurred to her that she might have been the only one oblivious to his affections. 

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa was slightly amused by the fact that Lilythe was so zoned out. She had seen it plenty of times before, but it never stopped amazing her. "No need to be sorry. I'm just glad that I got away from people. They are messy today." She mused thinking about how the others were getting hurt for doing stupid thing. Maybe letting them suffer just a little while will make them think twice about doing it again next time. But honestly who really knew. She wasn't the motherly person that she could be sometimes.  "I just got in." she ended for a moment with a deep breath. 

Rissa couldn't help but hum as she got a little more comfy in the couch. She pulled out a strand of hair and started twisting it while she listened to Lilythe talk. When she brought up Azrael however, her eyes did pop open a little more. "It is great, you haven't seen him in a while." she said thinking about how he was in New Rome with her and the others that were slowly popping back in to say hi. It was a little strange but she wasn't going to be complaining. She missed seeing peoples faces. Her twist got tighter and she let it go, it going into one of her natural curls when she finished her story. To say that Rissa was shocked was an understatement. "Really?" She started. "He finally came out and told you." She beamed, now this was news. She wondered if James new about this yet, she would have to go out and find him once she was able to. "Finally." she muttered a little though she still had a smile on her face. "So what do you think? What did you say?" She questioned now inching in her seat a little. She needed to know what all was going on. It was like the whole camp knew about this but the two that was involved and with Lilythe, well, you can see as of now she had no idea. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe was relieved when she discovered that Riss hadn't been there long. At least she hadn't missed much while she let her mind wander. Or, at least, she hoped she hadn't. 

The shock on Larissa's face as she told her what had happened was refreshing, since it had been just as shocking to Lilythe. However the words that came out of her mouth afterwards confused Lilythe all the more. "You say that like you knew he had feelings for me." Lilythe dropped her hands from her face and fixed Riss with a look that clearly displayed that if she didn't start talking Lilythe was about to burst. Had her friends known this whole time? Had they known and let her think that it was her fault that Azrael left? Watched her mourn his absence for years and just never said anything? This was getting to be a bit much. "I didn't say anything. I told him I needed time to think because he dropped a bombshell on me after letting me think he hated me for the last several years." Lilythe stood from her seat. "Please tell me that you're not about to let me know that you knew this whole time and didn't tell me."

[Larissa Souza Rare]

  Rissa couldn't help but bit her tongue a little as Lilythe began to ask questions. Of course, she knew, didn't the whole camp know this? At least the older ones that knew her and him? Yeah, she was pretty sure that they all knew. "I mean, I think that it was pretty much common knowledge by this point." She told the woman as she picked up the fallen hair from her hands and began to twist it again. She listened to her say that she hadn't said anything to him because he had let her go thinking she hated him and honestly, Rissa hated that for them. She didn't know what was going on in Azrael's head and she didn't want to pretend to know either. Everyone had their own little things about themselves that didn't make sense to others and this was something that she didn't know about him. Lilythe's next statement made her cringe a little. "Well..." She started and let the hair that she was messing with dropped from her hand. "I think pretty much everyone that knows of him knows of this?" James, her, others. It was pretty much a big deal. She wouldn't say people made bets. She didn't but she was pretty sure that others did on how long it would take them to finally come to terms and get together. She on the other hand just wanted both of them to be happy but didn't feel it was her place to push that along. She had her own issues to work on with James. Hell, she hadn't even begun to tell him how she felt yet. "Not that he told everyone but you, he didn't we just kind of put two and two together."

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe just sat there in stunned silence, a look of absolute shock on her face. She couldn't understand how she had been so oblivious all this time. She couldn't fathom how everyone at camp had known for years, and she had never once found out. They assumed I knew. It was the only explanation that made sense, and she knew it. But she hadn't. Lilythe never even suspected how Azrael felt. "I feel like an idiot..."

She dropped her head into her hands. This emotional rollercoaster just kept going and she wasn't sure she knew when or if it would stop. Things seemed so simple only a few days ago. She couldn't say she wasn't glad that Azrael was back. She was. However, she definitely had concerns with how much chaos his arrival had brought into her life. If she could just get her emotions in order, things would be so much better. "I had no idea Riss. None. But the more I think about things, the more I see."

"Do you remember that game of capture the flag where he pushed Shadow down the hill and he got banged up real badly?" Lilythe asked. "I always thought they were just being competitive. Now I want to know if it was just Azrael being jealous or did Shadow provoke him?" She sighed. "Everything we have experienced together... all these memories... I just keep searching for all the signs I missed. And I keep wondering how things would have turned out if I had noticed sooner."

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa couldn't help but feel sorry for the woman. She hadn't known and no one really told her a thing. They should have, but she knew the reason why they didn't. She was with Shadow and he had been pretty much the main reason why. She frowned for a moment as she listened to her comment about things finally coming to for her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I honestly thought you knew." She blinked a little and sighed some. She knew that there was going to be a lot of talking going on here soon about everything that was going on. 

She blinked when she started speaking again. This time it was about when he pushed shadow down the hill. "I remember. I was the one that healed him up." she commented back. The day was very interesting and not one that she would forget easily. "I don't know that much." She responded to her question. Maybe it was both. Could it be both? Would Azrael be that way? Shadow had a way about him however, she didn't know much about the guys. She frowned again as she listened to her talk about the signed that she missed. Rissa sighed a little before and beginning again. "Well, no use of working with he past, it more on the future now. Think of what you can do now."

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe sighed again. "I don't know what I can do now. I'm so angry at him for letting me think he hated me." She confessed. Lilythe lifted her head, looking up at Riss. "I know he was trying to be noble by bowing out and letting me be with Shadow but... He just didn't talk to me for years. He was my best friend and then he just disappeared. And I'm so mad about that." Lilythe stood up and started pacing. "Now I find out that pretty much everyone at camp could have told me that he probably just left because of how he felt... and that's frustrating too. I get it, not your place to tell and all that, but it's frustrating nonetheless."

She continued to pace in the living room. She honestly wanted a drink, maybe two, but she was still on duty. At the very least she needed to wait for the next Cabin Leader to come relieve her of her shift. "Also, I don't really know how I feel..." She stopped and turned to face Riss. "And it kind of feels like cheating to have the kids from Cabin 10 tell me." Crossing her arms over her chest she looked at her friend. "Help me figure it out?"

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa could understand her thought process at the moment. She was pretty sure that she would feel the same way as she did. Angry that they made her think that he hated her. However, when Lilythe lifted her head up she couldn't help but give her a small smile. One that meant that she was sorry and that she didn't mean to make things so odd for her at the moment. She allowed her to vent about it but she started a little pacing thing and it got to Rissa a little. Most people that did that bugged her a little but Lilythe had a good reason to do it at the moment. The Apollo girl couldn't help but bite her lower lip for a moment and sighed. She didn't know what to say about her not telling. "Well to be fair.." She started. " Mine was only a guess. I could tell by the way that he looked at you made me think that way."

Lilythe continued to pace and Rissa just watched her go. He frowned this time when she went on to talk about how she thought about asking cabin 10 for help. She shook her head no at this. "I wouldn't ask them for help..Not that they wouldn't help you but you should just think about it before asking another to give you an answer." She told her with a small shake of her head. "Never do that." She didn't like asking for help from others unless it was help when she needed help with healing, but that was something that she had to work through herself. Lilythe crossed her arms over her chest and looked dead at Rissa and she knew what was about to be asked next. Rissa laughed when the words came out of her mouth. "Sure thing." She told the woman and patted the chair for her friend to sit in. "But before that sit, you're making me nervous." She told her with a laugh. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

"Well your guess was right on the money. And you just said that everyone else knew. So... honestly? I just kind of feel like an idiot for not seeing it sooner." Lilythe sighed loudly once more. She was exasperated. The idea that she could have been so oblivious to one of her best friends. It was insane to her.

"I'm not going to. Like I said, it feels like cheating." That was the truth. Lilythe knew that the Aphrodite kids couldn't help that they had that power. But she had always felt that matters of the heart should be figured out between the two individuals involved. She didn't feel like having someone tell her how she felt would be very fair to her or to Azrael.

Taking the hint from Larissa, Lilythe went back to the seat and plopped down firmly onto it. "I don't even know where to begin..." She tried to think back to everything that had had happened between her and Azrael over the years. Every time she felt anything beyond just how she generally felt in his company.

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa bit her lower lip as she watched Lilythe speak. She didn't want the girl to think that she was dumb but people could be that way right? Look at her and James. She had tried many times to tell him that she liked him but he definingly hadn't gotten the picture. Most of her siblings knew and some even hated her for it as well. She sighed a little before she went to talk. "You're not an idiot." she told her honestly and gave her a small smile. "If anything not really observant but really who is?" She told the woman with a small smile. 

Rissa hummed happily. She didn't need any others getting into this. Not saying that they would do her wrong but they could do her wrong and she would have to hate the fact that she would have to hurt anyone of them. She shook her head a little and hummed again. "Good, I would hate to have to cut someone for you." She mused with a playful smile. 

The Apollo child couldn't help but relax a little when Lilythe took her seat once again. She wanted to make sure that Lily was going to be okay. "Well, I can help. We'll make a pro and con list." She mused with a bright smile and she got up and went to grab some paper and a pencil before sitting down and started to write thing down.

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

A pros and cons list? Lilythe's eyebrow quirked. "What if he found it?" She could feel her eyes widen in horror at the idea that Azrael might see what she wrote about him. Though, if she was being honest the only real con that she could think of was how angry she was at him right now. Lilythe looked up at Larissa. "We should put it in some kind of code or be as vague as possible. I don't want him to find it. Or better yet, let's just burn it after."

Lilythe chewed on her lower lip. "I've never thought about Azzy that way... you know." She said as she realized she was having a hard time coming up with a 'pro' list as well. "We've always been friends. Best friends." She sighed. "He is kind of handsome though, right? I mean objectively speaking." She had to start somewhere, didn't she?

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa couldn't help but glance at Lilythe for a moment. "Would the necessarily be a bad thing?" she couldn't help but question her a little. Everyone knew that they had things that people didn't like about them and she didn't think that Azrael would honestly be hurt by it, but then again how would she know. Rissa giggled just as she said that they should burn it. "Oh!" Her smile widens. "You know I always fancied fire a little." She mused as she clapped her hands. "But What if Shadow were to come back to camp..." She questioned her a little curiously. 

She hummed a little and tilted her head. "Have you even given yourself a chance to try and feel that way about him?" she questioned her as she got a little comfier where she was sitting. She liked talking about guys with Lilythe. She watched as she started coming up with some pros. Her smile widened more as she said that he was her best friend. "There you go." she laughed, though that wasn't what she was talking about, but it would work in this case. Then she said something about him being handsome. And an eyebrow arched. "I mean yeah. But totally not my type." she shook her head. No, James was more her speed. She liked James a lot. She hummed happily thinking about the Tyche child. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

"Nobody likes reading their flaws written out on paper." Lilythe said, a little surprised that Rissa was so cavalier about the idea. "But maybe you're right... I mean, honestly, the only real 'con' I can think of right now anyway is that he ran away rather than tell me how he feels. And he knows I'm upset about it. It's not a secret." Lilythe sighed.

"Shadow? He won't. I don't think he could handle seeing me every day and not having control over me." It was true. After all they had been through over the years, Shadow's possessiveness and controlling of her really created a situation where he had just become too toxic for her to stay. Lilythe was fairly certain that seeing her move on with her life would absolutely destroy him. At least for a while. "I mean, maybe someday he will, but... I don't know. He wasn't always bad, Rissa. I still care a lot about him. But... I don't think I can be with him again. I think it'll just go right back to how it was. He need someone new who will set boundaries right away, rather than letting him control her." That was really where Lilythe had gone wrong. He hadn't always been possessive. But his possessiveness started and Lilythe attempted to appease his anxiety by giving in when he tried to control her. She thought that over time it would get better, but it never did, and when she tried to set boundaries he couldn't accept them. They started fighting all the time. It was the right thing to do to leave. They weren't healthy.

Lilythe was really stunned when Rissa asked if she had ever allowed herself to feel that way about Azrael. "I..." She hadn't. She had always thought of him as a her friend, like James. She never once allowed herself to think of him as a man who might want her. "I guess I haven't..." Lilythe chewed her lip. "It was always Shadow... I didn't even think Azrael..." Shaking her head, she continued. "Azrael's good with people, mostly. He can be a little gruff at times, but usually he's pretty good with people. That's a good thing, right?"

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa understood where she was coming from at the moment. Sure people didn't like to read what was going on but however, this wasn't something that the others were goign to read now where they? This was strickly something for the two of them to figure out what was best for Lilythe at the moment. Rissa only hummed at the only con that she could think about. "Well, then if some how he read it, it wouldn't really hurt his feelings. Besides, I don't plan on him finding this out do you?" she questioned her friend a little. 

Rissa couldn't help but be a little worried about Shadow coming back to camp. Lilythe seemed to be thinking that he wouldn't come back because he wouldn't be able to control her, which she thought was strange way of putting it. But she understood anyways. She hummed a little as she thought more on it. "Maybe." she told her friend with a small shrug thinking about Shadow. She remembered having to heal him one time when they were playing capture the flag. She was a little worried about it too. "Surely, he would be able to find someone else then yeah." She told her friend trying to not think about everything that could go wrong if he happen to come back to camp tomorrow. 

The curly hair girl couldn't help but tilt her head a little waiting on her friend to say something. Nothing was coming out either for a moment. Lilythe told her that it was all about Shadow and Rissa couldn't help but bit her lip thinking about it. She had been so into Shadow that she hadn't even paid attention to the other man. She wanted to shake her a little but knew better at the moment. They all knew that Lilythe could be like this. She laughed at the ending remark and nodded her head. "Sure, being good with people is a very good thing." She told her with a small smile. "Though is that the only thing good you can think of?" she questioned her curious. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

"Yeah, I guess so." Lilythe knew that Larissa was right. She didn't really have a very good reason to not at least weigh the pros and cons. And if she couldn't keep them straight without writing it down, there was no harm in putting pen to paper so long as she made sure it was properly disposed of later.

She could see the concern on Larissa's face as she talked about Shadow. "Look. I know how toxic and controlling he got. I left him for a reason. I'm a pushover. He needs someone that... won't give in just to make him happy. Something that couldn't turn as codependent as we got." Shadow's jealousy had been the real problem, but codependency wasn't that far-fetched of a description for it either. Shadow was insecure and that led him to be afraid of pretty much every male potentially taking her away from him. And she had enabled him in letting his jealousy control their relationship. It might not be the classic case that people think of. But it did check a lot of the same boxes. "I hope he finds someone else that can make him happy. I'd like to be able to be his friend again someday."

Lilythe turned her attention back to the pros and cons list for Azrael. "I mean, there's a lot of other traits but right now all I can think of are the superficial ones." Lilythe smirked. "Have you seen his arms now?" When Azzy had left, he hadn't been scrawny by any means. But somehow now he seemed so much more toned and built than he had been before. "And I'm pretty sure I could use those abs as a washboard if I needed to..." She blushed bright red as she talked about his body. She felt like a high school girl again, crushing on some popular boy. It took her a little bit to snap herself back into the conversation instead of daydreaming about touching his body, kissing his lips... "But I don't want to really talk about the shallow things. And... I don't know if he even has the same personality traits I remember him having from when we were younger. I mean, he was a good man--if a bit judgmental at times. Guess that can't be helped with who his mother is though. She literally is the goddess of retribution and vengeance. I suppose he's predisposed to be a bit judgy."

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa couldn't help but smile a little as Lilythe came to about the pros and cons paper. It would be easier for her to work for that was for sure. Rissa normally done that as well. It was just a paper that helped her out when she needed it the most. Which was great. She tilted her head and a little at the other woman and giggled. "It never hurts to try something new out." said with a wink. 

Rissa was still concerned about Lilythe. Shadow was pretty toxic and controlling and she didn't have to be here to hear about it. It was known around the whole camp about it. She shook her head a little not wanting to hear about it. She didn't want her friend getting hurt again. That was the last thing she wanted, hell she was pretty sure that James would be thinking the same thing as she did at this moment. Rissa watched the woman carefully and sighed. "Being friends with someone that hurt you like he did might not be the best plan." she told her, there was no smile there, only a small little frown. 

The conversation moved on to Azrael and Rissa's mouth dropped a little as her friend began talking about the man's arms. A chuckle came from her lips. "No, I don't think I've noticed anything of the sort. So do tell me more." she grinned. She hadn't been checking out the man. No, her eyes were totally set on someone else at the moment. Her and James had fun doing what they were doing. Another comment about his abs made Rissa bit her lip to stop from laughing. "Goodness Lilythe." she said as covered her eyes for a moment. Resting her fingers on her temples. This woman was going to be the death of her at the moment. Her hand fell from her face as he eyes found the woman once again. "Well, from what you go for now. Let's go from memory. What are pros about Azrael?" she said as she as she got up looking for some paper and a pen to hand Lilythe. Soon she found some and handed it to her. "One page for Azrael and the other for Shadow." she told him with a small. "Pros and cons." she sent a wink to her. "Let's do this." 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

Lilythe gave Rissa a half-smile as she tried to warn her about trying to be friends with her ex. "I know... but I wouldn't be me if I didn't at least try." One of her biggest flaws was that she cared too much, and gave far too many chances to people who didn't deserve it. Part of it had come from her role at the camp--being the only stable figure for a lot of kids with their own issues, sometimes meant sacrificing more of yourself than was healthy for the greater good--but a lot of it was just something she had been inherently born with.

Lilythe rolled her eyes but laughed at Larissa's response to her comment about Azrael's arms. "Alright, fine..." She said, chewing her lip nervously as she was prompted to begin. "Azrael Pro, he is dependable. If he says he'll do something, he really will follow through and do it." Lilythe couldn't remember how many times she had asked her friend to help her when they were younger, but he had always been there. "And he's good with kids..." She blushed slightly at that one, but it was valuable for more than just her own future desires. Being able to help out at camp was something that could really help as a partner. Shadow was terrible with kids--or at least, had never really shown her an aptitude for working with them--and Azrael being able to help share the burdens of the camp with her and the other older campers was really beneficial. As far as a relationship was concerned, though, she wanted to have a family someday and he seemed like he would be a good partner for that. "He's determined--if he puts his mind to something, he'll achieve it. I like that."

"Am I going too fast? Should I slow down?"

[Larissa Souza Rare]

Rissa couldn't help but raise an eyebrow for a moment. It wasn't like she wasn't really rooting for Azrael, because Larissa was 1000 percent on the side of Azrael. She liked the man, and she knew that he would be totally great for Lilythe. Honestly, she didn't want to say that out loud, but she wanted to scream it at the woman in front of her. Was she the only one that wanted to tell her that? Maybe, but she was the one that had to do what she had to do. "True..." She muttered a little, not really happy that she wanted to spare her exes feelings. She didn't wanna spare Kyle's feelings so there was that. But she was a different type of person than the woman in front of her. 

Rissa couldn't help but smile at Lilythe when she chewed her lip. Right so this was what they were doing. Writing pros and cons about the boys. She felt like she was back in middle school. She giggled a little as she pulled her legs under her for a moment. Hoping to the gods that there weren't any more newbies coming to camp anytime soon. She soon began to write down everything that Lilythe was saying. Dependable. Totally a good pro to start off from. She glanced up at the next one and Rissa couldn't help but smirk a little. "Good with kids, check." she recalled as she looked down and wrote it down. Determined. She was good with that too. She nodded her head and wrote that down as well. She glanced up at Lilythe when she stopped and asked if she was going to fast. "Oh no," She smiled. "Keep going, I'm a fast writer." she told her with a smile. 

[Lilythe Rayne Rare]

"He's kind and courageous." Lilythe smiled, thinking about when they were teenagers all the hijinks and adventures they would get up to before Shadow had pulled her away from all her friends with his jealousy. There was so much about back then that she missed. But mostly she missed how happy they had all been. Well, at least as happy as a bunch of traumatized teenagers could be anyway. "Intelligent. You know he was attending the university in New Rome." That intelligence was something Lilythe prized in a partner. Being able to hold a conversation with them, long term, was just as important to her as the physical attraction.

"Honestly, Larissa, there are a lot of 'pros' for Azzy. He was my best friend for year and years. I was so sad when he left, and I felt so much joy when I saw him return. But... I just don't think I'm ready to forgive him yet for letting me be mad all that time. And that's not exactly fair to him..." And there it was. The real root of why Lilythe wouldn't just jump into a relationship with Azrael or even admit to herself that she wanted to. She was still hurting, angry, and didn't want to hurt him in the process while she was healing. Lilythe very clearly cared about him, but he had hurt her pretty badly with his actions. "Besides, I'm not sure I even know my own feelings about him yet. Not really..."