Ready to Archive Chapter 18: The Heart Break

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

The tale as old as time, was that tale of heart break that mortals went through! The pain and heartache that made you felt like you are being torn apart was not a new feeling ohhhhh NOOOOO. Well not for even Evelyn that is. For one that seemed to have a hard outer shell, she was always waiting to feel someone to love her ....for once in her life. But it always seemed to fail her that they were just lusting after her beauty as always. 

It was as if she faked not caring if they loved her or not...but deep down she wanted to be known and loved. To have her own love story happen where a person would do anything for her...just to have her love back. But as she finished a night of intimacy with another half-blood. He didn't even remember her name and asked her to leave. It was as if she was trying to scratch that itch of being loved over and over again with the many suiters she had over the years. 

As she left with a stone cold face, as she got outside the cabin where she moved quickly to the shadows. Falling to the ground she held her hands to her heart where she began to cry. Did no one love her???? Would they ever???? Her father did not want her and not to mention her mother could care less about her! Was she not loveable????? The pain of these questions washed over her as she sobbed....in the dead of night!

@ Samantha Adams

[Samantha Adams]

“Have you seen Evelyn?” Samantha had asked in a serious tone to another camper. The sun was starting to set and she’d wasted the better part of her afternoon looking for the girl. “Go figure…” she mumbled when they answered in the negative. Of course the ONE TIME she was actually wanting to find Evelyn would be the time that the girl had seemed to vanish. One Hecate camper had thought he’d seen her by the lake sunbathing; another said she was at the amphitheater. Samantha had zigzagged her way all through the campgrounds looking but it seemed like everytime she had either been given bad info or she had just missed Evelyn.

“Does she know I’m looking for her and she’s hiding??” she said out loud to no one in particular, starting to get annoyed. She’d recently learned through Helena that the bubbling feelings Samantha had started having towards Evelyn might be reciprocated. This had given her the opportunity to plan her own playful prank in return, but before she put the plan together she’d wanted to confront her rival about something that had been bothering her. It was late and she’d given up for now when a camper said he’d seen her go into the Apollo cabin a couple hours ago. Realizing what time it was Samantha quickly pieced together what Evelyn was up to. It made her feel….jealous? This was a new emotion for her and one she still wasn’t sure how to feel about. Intrusive thoughts of what that Apollo camper was getting to do to her body started to fill her mind. Shaking her head vigorously as if that would also shake the thoughts out. She’d been having this problem a lot more lately.

That’s when she got an idea, how funny would it be to confront Evelyn after the act was done, catch her off guard for once! That might make her more susceptible in answering Samantha’s questions. As she made her way to the cabin she saw Evelyn sitting at the steps…crying? Well this was not at all how Samantha had planned for this to go. Quickly darting behind a tree as she tried to plan her next move. Why was she crying? She didn’t think Evelyn was capable of showing any emotion that could be considered vulnerable. Maybe she should leave her alone and try again later? Taking half a step forward *CRACK* and onto a fallen tree branch...she froze in place. Drat! she thought to herself...

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

So many emotions washed over her as the tears fell from her eyes. Drop by drop, the tears rushed down as her pain seemed to fill her heart. Sitting on the steps, her hands were on her head as she began to wonder if this was all that life had to offer. Was she only good enough for a one night stand?????? The only thing she had every felt from anyone was lust. That was until she hear a crack. Trying to wipe the tears away as fast as she could, she looked around until she saw Samantha. Part of her wanted to run to her and be comforted but then again she didn't even like her right? "WWWhat are you doing here?" she said still wiping more tears away.  But then standing she felt the sadness fuel "I bet you are so happy to see me like this!" Walking towards her she was felt herself try and calm her breathing "The great Evelyn has fallen and broken....welll here you go....this has always been me....unwanted and unloved.....probably unloveable" she said before crying more. This time falling to the ground as the trembles took over her body. 

[Samantha Adams]

Samantha inwardly cringed as soon as her foot cracked the branch, holding her breath she paused to wait and see if she’d gone undiscovered thinking that maybe she could step backwards and retreat. No such luck though! She’d often found herself unprepared around Evelyn, this time was both similar and yet starkly different too. She was slowly getting use to snarky, confident, 'devil may care' Evelyn, but this side she was currently witnessing was anything but; even more surprising Samantha felt…sadness? She was wide eyed as Evelyn unloaded her rant unsure what to do in this situation, after an awkward pause she finally spoke.

“I…I was actually looking for you” she confessed slowly before pausing again. Truth was just a few months ago this was probably exactly how she would have loved to catch Evelyn. Now though? After a lot of self-reflection and talks with Helena she still wasn’t quite sure about her new feelings, but she knew she didn’t want Evelyn hurting. She cleared her throat and did her best to continue “Ummm no, no I don’t want to see you like this. Are you ok? What happened?” She cautiously approached the porch, “May I sit?” she asked, pointing to the steps of the cabin.

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

Evelyn was just holding her breath.....as she waited for Samantha to shoot back insults at her. She was already at rock bottom, how much worse could it be right? Evelyn found herself looking at Samantha with disbelief "FFFind me? What to give me another lecture?" she asked knowing this was probably the truth. Samantha was much more virtuous than Evelyn which she reminded her of this time and time again! But making her last claim she fell to the ground sobbing. Why was this so painful? She had told herself this was something she didn't care about orrrr did she? 

Waiting for the lecture to come.....well it didn't???? Samantha said she didn't want to see her like this. Evelyn looked up through teary eyes at the woman she had been crushing on for years. She asked to sit down and she found herself nodding yes. Wanting to just reach out and be held by her......to feel safe for once. "Do you really want to hear or you just being nice?" she asked as she sniffled. Wiping her nose on a handkerchief that was in her pocket.  Tears were still falling from her eyes as the pain kept crashing over and over.

[Samantha Adams]

Being a daughter of Athena, Samantha was used to tactically planning her actions out several moves in advance. Confronting (and then comforting?) a distraught Evelyn was not in her playbook! Still, a growing part of her wanted to be there for her if she could, even though she had no earthly clue what to say right now. The only course of action she could think of was to ask and sit, but now that she had done that, she was uncertain what to do or say next.

“No, no lectures” she started, trying to choose her words carefully “you seemed to be in pain and well I guess I was…worried…about you.” She coughed nervously, worried she may have revealed too much. Out of all the kids at Camp Halfblood she knew she was at the bottom of the list for ‘most likely to console a crying Evelyn’. “I do want to hear!” she continued now, scooting a little bit closer to the Aphrodite girl. She pulled out a small tissue packet from her pocket and sat it down in reach of Evelyn. “Ummm, just in case you needed anymore.” As she waited, grey eyes watching intently for the other girl to start sharing.

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

Maybe it was the fact that she always had to act so carefree around everyone, that she crumbled from time to time when the weight of all her emotions came crashing down on her. As if she had been stuffing them deep down inside instead of letting herself deal with them. Being on the ground she cried when she stopped for a moment as Sam's mouth said no lectures. Evie beautiful swollen face looked up at her as the next string on words made her look at Samantha bewildered. "About me?" she asked pointing to herself shocked. After everything she had done to Samantha, she somehow got her to care about her anyways. 

Evie was feeling was sort of defensive as she did not need anyone else here to hurt her again....especially right now. The pain deep down was hurting her so badly that if Sam..........if Samantha were to hurt her, she didn't know what would happen...........The way that Samantha was looking at her made her want to curl up in her arms and be held by her. To feel her warm arms around her and kiss her to say it would be all okay. But when she pulled out the tissue it brought her back to the here and now. "Thanks" she said taking it. Wiping her face she took a deep breathe. 

Where was she to start???????? "I" she began to start but then felt the pain again inside "I know it seems like I don't care about who I sleep with but" she paused as she began to cry "I just want to feel wanted or loved.......but all I get is people lusting after me....as if I don't even really matter......cause who could fall in love with me..." the tears had been rushing down her face as the pain took over. 

[Samantha Adams]

Samantha was half tempted to ask her if she should go grab one of her siblings. Surely Levi or Helena would know better than her on how to console a distraught Evelyn. This seemed like a deep-seated and personal issue, so much so that Samantha almost felt like she was trespassing by merely being here. And yet…if her feelings for Evelyn were as genuine as she was beginning to suspect they were, then this is exactly where she should be. Plus, Evelyn had not brushed her away just yet, maybe she…wanted her here? As out of place as it felt Samantha still wanted to do her best to help which right now seemed to consist of just listening as Evelyn poured her heart out.

“Oh…wow, I didn’t know any of this. I can imagine it must be difficult having these expectations put on you, I guess I can sort of relate to that.” As she thought back on the last several years, the drive to always be the perfect example of righteous morality. It was a burden both her parents and herself had placed on her. To be honest trying to always live up to that had broken her a few times, like it seemed to be breaking Evelyn right now.

“Have you shared any of these with your siblings? It can help to have someone to confide in. Someone you don’t have to always appear as the carefree girl around. Someone you could be vulnerable around. I….” she stopped herself as she realized she was just about to offer to be that special someone. Samantha shocked herself at just how naturally it felt, to offer to be that person in her life. These feelings towards Evelyn that she was having were still so new and foreign to her though. So wasn’t sure she could be brave enough to admit them…to ever admit them. So she opted to do what she felt brave enough to do in the moment, placing her arm around Evelyn as she grabbed a spare tissue and began to dab away at the tears.

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

Evie wanted nothing more than to be in HER arms, cry it out and then be comforted. But why would Samantha do that to her? There had been nothing so far in their relationship that had made this come to pass. So the fact that she even asked her to stay thus far was a bold move on her behalf. But what else did she have to lose right? Talking about what she was feeling felt weird to tell Samantha but then again it was also freeing. "You can?" her voice broke as she looked at her longingly. "But you always seem like you don't care what others say about you." This was something she seemed taken back from as Samantha walked around holding her head high.

But the next words that Samantha said, made her heart fall out of her chest. Maybe she should go to her siblings????? She was trusting her with her hurt and she wanted to her to go away? "Do you not want help me? Or am I boring you?" It came out harsh as she was hurting even more down inside. But then why was Samantha's arm around her? Evie had talked to her siblings about this but nothing ever came from it. With Samantha being a daughter of Athena, she was hoping for some Wisdom. 

[Samantha Adams]

Samantha's heart raced as she listened to Evelyn pour out her emotions. She couldn't help but feel a knot in her chest as she realized that she, too, had been developing feelings for the girl she had once considered a rival. She was confused by these newfound emotions and wasn't quite sure how to process them, let alone share them with Evelyn. As Evelyn questioned whether Samantha cared or was bored, Samantha felt a pang of hurt. She didn't want Evelyn to think that she wasn't interested in helping her, but she was also at a loss for what to say or do. She hadn't expected to be in this situation, having to comfort the girl who had become the source of her own internal turmoil. Her heart felt like it was being torn in different directions as she tried to figure out how to be there for Evelyn while also grappling with her own confusion.

"No, I didn't mean it like that!" Samantha started, trying to reassure her but unintentionally matching Evelyn's harsh tone. "I just thought maybe your siblings could understand you better since they're Aphrodite children too!" Now Samantha felt herself getting frustrated, how did this girl always manage to get under her skin so badly?! "Gosh Evelyn why do you have to make the simplest things so complicated!?!"

Shit! 

Samantha had not meant to come off this way. Her own confused state had finally got the better of her and she'd allowed her mixed up emotions to make it seem like she didn't care, but she did! She cared a lot...she just couldn't figure out how to show that.

Why does love have to suck so much?

She took a deep breath, feeling her heart race in her chest. This was uncharted territory for her! Samantha's hand reached out to gently hold Evelyn's, hoping to offer her some comfort. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. You are not unlovable, Evelyn. You're a strong, beautiful person who deserves to be loved and cherished. And I believe that there's someone out there who will see past the surface and love you for who you truly are." Her grey eyes locked onto Evelyn's, filled with sincerity, warmth and.....longing. 

Oh if only she knew that I want to be that person! 

Edited April 24, 2023 by Samantha Adams

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

Maybe it was fate that Evelyn was sitting next to the girl she loved, she feels the weight of her unrequited love crushing her. She wonders why the girl she loves cannot see her the way she sees her or feel what she feels. Evelyn has attempted to find love elsewhere, but the physical pleasure she seeks is not enough. She desires to feel loved, cherished, and desired, but every time she gives herself to someone, she feels more alone than before. It was as if it was a cruel joke that someone was playing on her in a tragedy of never getting the love her daddy captures in his novels. It is as if she is chasing after something that does not exist. She felt like Aphrodite promised her love, but where is it? Does it only exist for others but not for her? Perhaps there is something inherently flawed about her that repels others. However, she refuses to accept this. She believes that she is worthy of love and that she deserves to be loved for who she is, not just for her body.

"I don't know" she laughed but sobbed a little more. Dabbing her eyes she as she looked at Samantha who just explained herself. "You can only go to your sibling so much until they get tired of the same sob story." She hiccuped out as she wiped her eyes again. 

But the next thing that came out of her made her looked so shocked as she felt her own heart racing. Samantha believed this? I mean the girl would not say it otherwise right? But did she mean someone else.....why couldn't it be with her! "You mean that?" she hiccuped again as tears stained the girls face. The way she was looking at her in this moment made her want to kiss her. Forget everything that happened tonight and show Samantha how she really feels.

[Samantha Adams]

Samantha's heart pounded in her chest as Evelyn's tear-filled eyes met her own. She felt a rush of emotions sweep over her; sympathy, confusion, and most of all, an affection she was still trying to understand. She had never intended to make Evelyn feel as if she was brushing her off, but it seemed her confusion and hesitation had done just that. She nodded, squeezing Evelyn's hand gently. "I do mean it, Evelyn," Samantha said, her voice quiet but firm. She paused, swallowing the knot that had formed in her throat. "I mean...I see you. Not just the carefree, Aphrodite’s daughter everyone else sees, but the real you. The strong, kind, and brave girl who's struggling right now, and...and I think you're amazing." Samantha's heart fluttered as she said those words, the tension in the air between them was palpable. She could feel her cheeks burning, as the words left her mouth. She hoped Evelyn didn't notice, or if she did, she wouldn't mention it. Samantha hesitated before adding, "And I...I want to be here for you. Not because I feel obligated to, but because...because I...care about you, Evelyn." Samantha felt a chill run through her as she admitted this, her mind racing with questions about what this meant for her and for Evelyn. She was scared of what these feelings could mean, but even more scared of not acknowledging them at all.

Feeling Evelyn's hand in hers, Samantha couldn't help but let her thoughts wander. She found herself picturing a future where they could be more than just friends, where she could be the one to help Evelyn through her struggles, to celebrate her victories, to be there for her in every way. It was a tantalizing thought, but also terrifying. Did she have the courage to take the risk? "Evelyn...," Samantha whispered, her heart pounding so loudly she was sure Evelyn could hear it. She paused, not sure how to continue. "I… I want to understand your feelings...." In her head she completed the sentence......'I want to be more than just a friend to you.' But she couldn't bring herself to say that part out loud, there was just too much risk!

[Evelyn Scott Rare]

Love was the very thing she based everything in her life on. I mean DUH she was a child of Aphrodite who was deeply in love with the woman in front of her. Evelyn's mind raced with a tumultuous mix of emotions, her heart aching with the weight of unspoken confessions. She yearned to tell Samantha everything, to reveal the depths of her love that had remained hidden for far too long. The thought of keeping her feelings hidden any longer felt suffocating, as if she were denying herself the chance for happiness. How had she let this go on for so long? Why had she resorted to pranks and acted as if she hated Samantha when, in reality, she had admired her and loved her from afar? Her memories played like a slideshow in her mind, a series of mischievous pranks and stolen glances. Each prank had been an attempt to capture Samantha's attention, to make her laugh and notice Evelyn's presence. But the facade of animosity had only pushed Samantha away, and Evelyn regretted the wasted time she could have spent forging a genuine connection. 

Evelyn's breath caught in her throat as Samantha's words washed over her. The rush of emotions surged within her, intertwining hope and apprehension. Samantha's confession echoed the desires Evelyn had kept hidden for so long. The realization that Samantha saw beyond the surface and valued her for who she truly was filled her with both joy and vulnerability. Evelyn's eyes searched Samantha's face, desperately seeking confirmation that this wasn't a cruel trick or a fleeting sentiment. Was she dreaming? Was she daydreaming again as she was reading one of her books? Samantha's hand gently squeezed Evelyn's, grounding her in the present moment. The sincerity in Samantha's voice resonated deep within Evelyn's soul, offering a glimmer of solace in the midst of her inner turmoil. Samantha's declaration of wanting to be there for her, not out of obligation but genuine care, ignited a spark of hope. 

It was the whisper that did her in, As Samantha whispered her name, Evelyn's heart soared with a mixture of anticipation and fear. Samantha's unspoken desire hung heavily in the air, and Evelyn's mind raced with the possibilities it entailed. She sensed Samantha's hesitation, the unspoken words lingering between them. Evelyn's own courage wavered, torn between the fear of rejection and the overwhelming desire to reveal the depth of her feelings. In that moment, Evelyn mustered all her strength and let her voice quiver with vulnerability. "Samantha... I... I want to be more than friends too." Her voice trembled as she blushed "I mean I want to be closer to you as well....I...Liikkeee " just then a camper came out of the cabin. Breaking the moment that she felt the courage drain right out of her. Then standing up she looked embarrassed. "I think i need to go." 

[Samantha Adams]

Samantha watched as wave after wave of a mix of emotions seemed to wash over Evelyn's face. She could see the struggle in Evelyn's eyes and it looked like the same one she herself was wrestling with. When Evelyn's voice broke, Samantha felt her own heart squeeze in response. This newfound affection for Evelyn had become less and less foreign to Samantha the more she felt it, and now it felt.....right?

Samantha... I... I want to be more than friends too

Samantha's heart stopped as those words hit her in full force. Evelyn was a girl she had once despised and now she was stirring unfamiliar feelings within her. Samantha had spent so much time trying to deny these feelings, and now, hearing Evelyn echo them back, well she was torn. Evelyn's blush and the words she spoke out about wanting to be closer sent Samantha's heart into a tailspin. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out trying to calm the race of emotions that were hitting her all at once. She had always prided herself on being in complete control over her emotions but now? Well now they seemed to have control on her. It hit her then that she was in a state where anything could happen and she might now have control over the situation. She looked down at her hand, the one that had held Evelyn's just moments before. "Closer? Like.....what do you mean?" Samantha thought she knew but she needed to hear Evelyn say the words. And then, just maybe, the daughter of Athena would be brave enough to share her own. 

BAM

Like a gunshot the door to the cabin barged open abruptly as a camper emerged walking past them and shattering the moment. 'Noooooooooooo!' Samantha inwardly wailed as Evelyn said she needed to go. Samantha racked her brain to try and think of something to say, anything to keep Evelyn here with her. But her mind was one of strategy and warfare, not matters of the heart. As Evelyn stood up Samantha did the only thing she could think of, without speaking a word she leaned in a planted a kiss on Evelyn's cheek. But her bravery faltered and right after she ran down the steps and into the woods towards the safety of her cabin. "I...I want to be closer to you too, Evelyn," she murmured to herself, her own confession swallowed by the night and heard by no one.